Well that’s disappointing…my half of the double “date” canceled because of a grad party.
Automatic thought: I’m not good looking enough. She’d rather go to a party with hot guys instead of out with me.
Emotion: embarrassment, shame
Body Reaction: lethargy
Are you using your logic-center or emotion-center?
Emotional brain was used.
Conclusion (logic-center): I didn’t invite S, my friend invited me because his date invited a friend. I DIDN’T invite her directly. I don’t even have her contact info. She’s drinking at a grad party apparently and canceled last minute.
-SO I CAN CONCLUDE-
She’s more interested in drinking at a grad party than going on a date with me…In my imagination I can see her wanting the date over the party ONLY IF I was a 10/10 super model. Because that didn’t occur, I think: I’m not good
enough; I’m not attractive. No, just because I didn’t evoke the reaction a 10 would have doesn’t make me “not good enough.”
I know I’m attractive. I got checked out in a ridiculously obvious way by two smiley cute girls the other day. I have a (pathetic) list of compliments that say I’m attractive. I get good looks and compliments all the time.
My validation can’t be based off of one indirect rejection.
Feelings now: still disappointed but anxiety attack eliminated.